Alton Brown, Food Network Chef, generally emphasizes that classics are considered classic for a particular reason. Fried chicken, such as Folgers coffee, ought to be liked for what it is, not mangled into a "gourmet" mess not even remotely resembling the original, classic, flavor. It's usually expected that every Seattle region resident more than fourteen be voluntarily grabbed into the "gourmet" coffee movement which has overtaken our very own lives over the last several years.

I live in a relatively small city located about a hundred kilometers northwest of Seattle. Soon after our only Starbucks started out, an unusual phenomena became immediately, blatantly apparent. It's situated just off the highway, on the just two-lane road leading west out of town. Without any ambiguity, individuals headed for Starbucks are easily identifiable. Biting their lips, and sweating copiously, they lean to the steering wheel, and rise up in their seats, as if willing the car to move faster. Impatiently crowding, they push forward occupants in the preceding cars certainly lacking in the consideration to know that the streets belong only to Starbucks' consumers; they curse, and shout at the perplexed and shaken elderly populating our city, harboring the mistaken belief that it will in some way amazingly push them out of the way. People entering Starbucks from the highway entrance are twice as bad, declining to transition from highway speeds to the safer consideration for pedestrians, and blocked through ways. Personally, I'd be willing to put money on the fact that they've already had plenty of coffee.

I've always been dumb-founded by the force which pushes these besotted maniacs' vicious craving for that all-important Latte-Cappuccino-Frappuccino-Macchiato-Americano Iced-Hot-Blended-Frozen Quarter Pump-Half Pump-Full Pump-Double Pump Drizzled-Stirred Vanilla-Caramel-Cinnamon-Mocha White Mocha-Cinnamon Spice Mocha-Valencia-Mocha Sweetened-Artificially-"Naturally"-Unsweetened Valencia-Toffee Nut Wet-Dry Steamed-Foam-No-Foam-Half-Foam Cream-2%-Skim-Whole-Soy Whip-No Whip-Con Panna Sprinkle-No Sprinkle Diluted-Weak-Medium-Strong-Extra-Strong-Holy Crap I'm Buzzin' Espresso one, two, three or more shot fix. Sadly, an "Iced Cappuccino" specifically made to further fuel the lunacy is not available, although, an "Iced Latte" (please don't ask the primary difference because they'll believe there is one) is. When, exactly, did it turn out to be unfashionable to relish an excellent, fulfilling cup of classic Folgers coffee with some cream as well as sugar which enhance its richness, but don't overcome the delightful coffee flavor which coffee is intended to taste like?

An insane individual is usually defined as lacking in sensible idea. Another aspect of this insanity that baffles me even more than the insane quest to annihilate the very essence of coffee's insanely pleasant coffee flavor is the outrageous price folks are ready to pay for one of these insane concoctions. In spite of recent claims that Starbucks, and similar coffee peddlers, have restructured to be comparable with Folgers coffee prices, regular customers are willing to pay more than ten dollars for a single coffee drink. By any description, that's not just lacking in reasonable thought process, it's plain crazy! Although I wouldn't give ten cents for Maxwell House coffee that tastes just like a teenage boy's dumped socks, Folgers coffee, normally priced at less than ten dollars for an entire thirty-two ounce can, is very well worth every penny. Among its several attributes is the fact that I don't have to risk committing vehicular killing to enjoy a cup, or face arrest for a panic-stricken break-in at Starbucks after hours.

Coffee has always had a relaxing affect. As the Folgers coffee ads repeatedly remind us, not only is it the "very best part of waking up" it is also synonymous with taking a break, failing to remember the worries of the world (which often incorporate being terrorized by bloodthirsty and/or coffeethirsty drivers), and having a peaceful, reflective moment all alone.

Folgers coffee